does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
