I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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