she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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