I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
