kristin has been a bad kristin
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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