I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Who died my cat blue again?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
