matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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