what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
honey bunches of taint.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
