I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
