When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
