Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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