Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
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