I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
