i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
