shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
