I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
