Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
