brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
