even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
