does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
