well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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