I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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