can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
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