Midget sex pt 2 tonight
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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