Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
