I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
