he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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