So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
How naked do you want me to be?
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