everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
