'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
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