i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
