I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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