i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
