I only kidnapped one of them. chill
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
