they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
