in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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