His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
