I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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