I want to make a zoo with you.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
