hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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