You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
