GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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