I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
