Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I believe in your delicious
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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