The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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