She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
