take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
