OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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