We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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