would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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