I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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