Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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