I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
