I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
