ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
