More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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