It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
