how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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