Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
