Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
It's just like the Real World with babies
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
