I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
